Tarot Journal: June 17: Personal Statement

I wont go into to much detail right now but I need to just get a few things out that has kept me bogged down the past few months. Now I'm not afraid to tell anyone but I wont go into to much detail but Ive been really down because a month ago I found my Non Marital Husband who Ive been with for 12 yrs, I found him cheating on me. I don't know if it was anything physical but I know it was emotional and the day that I found out my whole world was crushed. The Man that I knew would do something so hurtful to me my so called best friend would hurt me and betray me like nothing I ever felt in my life. My Instinct told me something was going on but I just pushed it in the back of my mind because I have never had to deal with this before with him so I doubting the instincts until one night I found proof.  For so long I was hurt, It took me awhile to gather myself up again. To find out some details on the reason why he did what he did but it wants much to heal my wounds he had done to my heart. But I accepted him and I am learning to trust him again and its hard but I am trying to have patience. So I found this Spread on the AT forum about him and his relationship with her and me. To conclude how he really felt for her which was basically nothing, it made me see the faults I have had in the relationship as well as his needs and what he wants it gave me a better understanding of him and the whole situation. NOW I am at peace and I can put that behind me and forgive him and try to better myself so that I can be a better wife for him. I love him so very much just for awhile there I just wasn't sure. But I do Love him or I wouldn't of stuck with him this long he is a good guy despite all the day to day stress he deals with taking care of our 6 children. Hes a good man and a father and we all make mistakes and I hope this will be the last time for I am going to work on making us light that flame again. Just thought Id share